If you leave here with nothing but three words, leave here with this: NEVER GIVE UP
I’ve wanted to give up what feels like a thousand times on my weight loss and transformation journey…
I know what you are thinking, “Oh, I have heard this before..”
Trust me I would be thinking the same thing, but to prove to you that I truly mean it I’ll tell you about how my weight loss journey started..
I have been working in the pizza restaurant industry since I was 15. It was my first job and honestly I just never really left. The pizza shop was where I practically grew up, splitting most of my time between school and work. It was where I first met my fiance, pizza was pretty much my whole world. Eating pizza shop food and other unhealthy habits almost everyday for years can take a toll on the body. A toll that I wasn’t ready nor willing to see. I could see that clothes were fitting differently and that I wasn’t feeling the best but I ignored all of it. Denial is a powerful beast.
I was in college, you are suppose to have fun with friends, go out to bars, eat pizza late at night, and do it all over again the next day. It wasn’t until after graduating college did I realize it was time for a change.
At my highest weight of 256lbs all I could think about was how do I change all of my habits for the last 22 years? It was an overwhelming experience, And BOY! did I resist every step of it. I didn’t want to change anything I was doing, it was comfortable. I just wanted to get a different result overnight. Weight loss without any work.
After months of struggle I decided to hire a health coach because I didn’t know where to start.
There’s so much conflicting information online when you first try to research weight loss. You would think that living with nutrition majors in college that I would understand maybe a little bit about this subject…WRONG.
My health coach would come over twice a week to take my measurements and give me worksheets on what to eat and what not to eat. She talked to me about exercise a little bit. At the time, I thought it was too expensive. Her personality and mine didn’t mesh well. I wasn’t ready to invest in myself like that. I wasn’t able to spend money on myself like that. It lasted about a month and then I quit.
Looking back now I think I just still wasn’t ready to start.
When I told her that I didn’t want to work with her anymore it was her words “you won’t do this on your own” that really tore me apart. How dare she say something like that to me? Was she being honest or just trying to hurt me? Did she take it personally that I no longer wished to use her services? Or did she really know what she was talking about?
Either way, I kept repeating those words over and over again in my head creating a very negative outlook. I felt totally helpless, totally ready to give up. The very next day I signed up with weight watchers. It was a coincidence that my one of my best friends had just joined the gym that same day and wanted a work out partner. She was the perfect person to have as a gym partner. She held me accountable for getting up and going to the gym three times a week and sticking to my weight loss goals. That first week with her at the gym and weight watchers I lost 7lbs and was ecstatic!
At first it was my belief that I had proven my former health coach wrong, I could do this on my own!
I later realized I wasn’t doing this on my own at all. It was my friend who was my inspiration and motivation and who I couldn’t and wouldn’t let down. My fiance’ is always saying to me “we are far more willing to do something for someone we love than for ourselves”. It was Weight Watchers who gave me my rules and boundaries, I was surrounded by help. But it was ME making it happen and WITHOUT my health coach.
I learned to transform the words she used that hit me so negatively into a positive experience with my friend and now my blog. I can’t do this on my own, and I don’t have to. There is an abundance of people out there looking to support one another. If someone is holding you back, if they tell you that you cant do something, use that as energy. Transform it to something positive and use it for good.
In my time with my gym buddy and weight watchers I lost about 50lbs. It was a great feeling, people noticing and telling you that you look great or younger. I had never had this type of attention before. I hadn’t even hit my goal of reaching my weight of 160. Could you imagine what was going to happen when I hit my goal weight?
Walking in the grocery store one day, I ran into my old health coach. She barely recognized me! Her jaw dropped as I told her that I had lost 50lbs…on my own! It was one of the greatest feelings. I had proven her wrong and pushed through my obstacle. I told her that I wasn’t close to my goal weight yet but I was still moving forward. Ill probably never forget that day.
Did I mention that I worked in the pizza industry?
Now this is the part of the story as to why you are still reading..you want to know what happened and why I didn’t hit my goal weight yet.
Well shortly after that meeting of my health coach in the grocery store my fiance with two business partners decided to open their second pizza restaurant. I was reluctantly dragged in. A topic I will go into further in another post but to summarize I had had my fill of my fiance’s first pizza restaurant and did not want to do it again.
At first I was able to handle going to the gym and working insane hours.
But soon after, it all became too overwhelming and the pizza shop consumed my life. Old habits die hard and come back strong if you don’t stay the course. I stopped going to the gym, I stopped eating correctly and I started gaining. It wasn’t a lot in the beginning, most likely because I was running off of pure adrenaline.
Fast forward two years of working anywhere between 90 to 120 hours a week,
I was physically and emotionally exhausted. If I had thought that changing my lifestyle and weight loss was hard, it doesn’t even hold a candle to opening and operating your own restaurant! Business was Great! We were very busy and were building an outstanding reputation.
Unfortunately though, we had business partnership problems and the business was forced to close.I was completely devastated. Stress eating became my favorite thing to do. Mexican food is probably my favorite food in the entire world. If I could eat it every night I would! For a little while there I kind of did…
It has taken me almost 8 months to realize or want to get out of this funk I have been in since closing the business.
I was down and I didn’t want to acknowledge it. Remember that old habit of denial I was telling you about? Give or take I have gained back about 20lbs from my lowest weight of 202lbs.
So to wrap up this very long story, I am in the process of rebuilding, healing my life, attitude, and mind as well as body. Success is not a straight line, it is a jagged continuance of ups and downs. I have felt like giving up many times but just as John Lennon said ” “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end. ”
Join me as I get started in my renewed affirmation of NEVER GIVE UP and my re commitment to my weight loss journey. Subscribe and we will do this together. Please feel free to email me with any questions or even just words of encouragement. I read all of the comments and emails and I will respond!